The Road Less Traveled
by M Scott Peck
(A full text excerpt from Tears and Healing)

This book helped me tremendously. Since I know not everyone has time to read everything, I thought I would offer some of my own pointers into this work.

I also see that many of you come from outside this site to see this page. If so, you might like to look back to see some of the context that I put this work in, namely the pages that deal with love vs. being in love and tears and healing. You might appreciate that this site speaks to the healing of people who have been in relationships with disordered partners, mostly those with borderline personality disorder. We call ourselves nons for non-BP's.

Peck started out as a secular philosopher, although he originated as psychologist, he was really more in tune with spirituality that psychology. He has some excellent insights to offer in this early book, which I recommend over his later ones.

If you only have limited time, I would suggest you focus on the sections on love and grace.

Love: Most nons are very concerned about love. Peck can help you see better how much you're getting, what kind you're giving, whether they are in balance. I would suggest the following subsections in the section on love:

• Love Defined

• Love is not a Feeling

• The Risk of Independence

• The Risk of Commitment

• The Risk of Confrontation

• Love is Disciplined
      and especially for nons:

• Love is Separateness

If you are in love with your partner, meaning you long to be with her, feel incomplete without her, fear losing her, and such, I would also suggest you read these subsections:

• Falling in "Love"

• The Myth of Romantic Love
  and I also think you should think hard about this section:

• More about Ego Boundaries

Nons need this kind of definition of love. We need to think and measure our relationships. Most of us give real love, but get very little. We really have to step back and ask how this fits with what we want in life. Most of us are living in emotional deprivation. I know I have been for a long time. Peck, more than anything, convinced me not just that I deserved better, but that I needed better. I hope you'll spend some thought time with the concept Peck describes.

Grace: This is perhaps not a great heading for the subjects I'd recommend out of this section. The concepts that jump out at me here are around the power of our unconscious mind; the guidance it offers (and in fact demands we follow) us, and what happens when do and don't follow that guidance. Don't be offended by my simple mind here, but frankly this section is the only definition of GOD that I have ever found that works for me. And Peck argues that it is really just another way of stating the beliefs of Christianity and other religions. but for me, this was a revelation that truth has always been right there, within me, for me to tap. Now I am starting to tap into that truth, and finding it very powerful.

So enough sermonizing. Peck does it much better. I suggest these subsections:

• The Miracle of the Unconscious

• The Definition of Grace

• Entropy and Original Sin

• The Evolution of Consciousness

• The Nature of Power

For those of you who might wonder how I can create all these pages, wonder where these thoughts come from, wonder where the energy to stitch all this together comes from, read the last section carefully. For honestly, I have no idea how I could possibly do this. Perhaps I am not.

Liberation: Peck's words are powerful. The concepts are pure and true. Not all these things are easy to accept - the emotion of fear might prevent us from allowing the concepts to work through our minds. But exposing ourselves to them can only help. I hope you spend some time with this book and benefit from it as much as I have.

Do you know how to apply Peck's ideas in your life?

© 2004-6 Richard, 21CP and Dalkeith Press